It was announced the other day that Rick Wagoner, the former Chairman and CEO of GM, negotiated his retirement package with GM. It includes almost $8.2 million in payments over the next 5-years plus a $74,030 annual pension. How’s a dude suppose to live on $1,636,105 for five years and $74,030 a year for the rest of his life? Just kidding. Here’s my point.
During his tenure, GM’s North American market share fell from 28.2% to around 18%; the value of GM (market capitalization) tumbled from approximately $36 Billion to approximately $0; and its share price went from around $90 to around $0, all the while being paid huge sums of money. (And as Chairman of the board, he had considerable influence in deciding what his compensation, as CEO should be.)
Thank you Mr. Wagoner! Thank you for your hard work and outstanding results! Here’s your $10 or $20 million. And this lovely set of golf clubs. The taxpayers paying for this clusterfuck will be at your home shortly...they'll be the ones with the torches and pitchforks.
Showing posts with label clusterfuck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clusterfuck. Show all posts
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Michael Jackson - No Resurrection
Where do I start?
I waited three days and there wasn't a credible resurrection. (I actually waited three days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds because I wasn't sure of the rules.) He did appear in a tree stump and as a ghost on Larry King, but many would agree that he remains deceased.
Then I waited for the memorial. Some moments were genuine and touching. Mostly it was a clusterfuck of opportunism. Some real tears. Some that looked planned, forced and/or odd.
Planned, forced and odd: The Jackson brothers all each wearing one white glove? That was fucking stupid the first time around MJ did it. (Okay. I'm biased. We'll let that one go.)
Odd: Al Sharpton: "I want his children to know there was nothing strange about your daddy, it was strange what your daddy had to deal with.” Really? You can't think of anything slightly strange about Michael Jackson? The glove. Bubbles (abandoned after puberty like many of his other friends - to be fair, apes are not pets - and especially not for kids. But he could have checked into this before the adoption. His appearance changes, apparently caused by puberty, into his forties? (See this video for his "people change as they grow up" explanation among other more disturbing accusations and revelations.) His confessions that he had"sleep overs" with kids, that, while may or may not had been illegal, should have forced any honorable father to smash this guy's face in. (Is it okay for a 40 year old man to invite a 12-year old over, feed him alcohol, show him porn, and sleep in is room okay? Not on my planet!)
Thousands of fans saying things like, "He was authentic. He spoke to me." Really!? Of all the things you can say about the guy, "personal connection" is one of them? Seriously? He was one of the most disconnected people on the planet. Is this projection? More likely it's a case of people loving his music (and dancing...the whole package) and wanting to make a connection. But this connection can't be real. Look at his life....and the rest of our lives. Who ends up in a solid brass, 14 carat gold coffin that looks like a butter chicken heater? Any connection is superficial at best.
And Lionel Richie. Is that it's own category?
Then I was waiting for the burial. But I just heard his brain has been removed.
WTF!? Where do I take this?
I'll let it take itself. More after the autopsy.
(What a fucking shit show!)
I waited three days and there wasn't a credible resurrection. (I actually waited three days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds because I wasn't sure of the rules.) He did appear in a tree stump and as a ghost on Larry King, but many would agree that he remains deceased.
Then I waited for the memorial. Some moments were genuine and touching. Mostly it was a clusterfuck of opportunism. Some real tears. Some that looked planned, forced and/or odd.
Planned, forced and odd: The Jackson brothers all each wearing one white glove? That was fucking stupid the first time around MJ did it. (Okay. I'm biased. We'll let that one go.)
Odd: Al Sharpton: "I want his children to know there was nothing strange about your daddy, it was strange what your daddy had to deal with.” Really? You can't think of anything slightly strange about Michael Jackson? The glove. Bubbles (abandoned after puberty like many of his other friends - to be fair, apes are not pets - and especially not for kids. But he could have checked into this before the adoption. His appearance changes, apparently caused by puberty, into his forties? (See this video for his "people change as they grow up" explanation among other more disturbing accusations and revelations.) His confessions that he had"sleep overs" with kids, that, while may or may not had been illegal, should have forced any honorable father to smash this guy's face in. (Is it okay for a 40 year old man to invite a 12-year old over, feed him alcohol, show him porn, and sleep in is room okay? Not on my planet!)
Thousands of fans saying things like, "He was authentic. He spoke to me." Really!? Of all the things you can say about the guy, "personal connection" is one of them? Seriously? He was one of the most disconnected people on the planet. Is this projection? More likely it's a case of people loving his music (and dancing...the whole package) and wanting to make a connection. But this connection can't be real. Look at his life....and the rest of our lives. Who ends up in a solid brass, 14 carat gold coffin that looks like a butter chicken heater? Any connection is superficial at best.
And Lionel Richie. Is that it's own category?
Then I was waiting for the burial. But I just heard his brain has been removed.
WTF!? Where do I take this?
I'll let it take itself. More after the autopsy.
(What a fucking shit show!)
Monday, June 1, 2009
GM Fell Down a Well
“What’s that boy?”
“Woof.”
“Jimmy fell down the well?
“WOOF! Woof woof.”
“GM lost $88B since 2005 and needs our help because with their bond rating is one-step away from default, no non-lobotomized person, credit crisis or not, would lend them anymore money and they’ve already burnt through something like $22B in the first 5-months of 2009?”
“Woof.”
“What’s that about the media and market capitalization? Comparing GM to Honda and the S&P 500 since 1978 points to a long-term deterioration of GM’s value as compared to the ‘party line’ about the current credit crisis, higher oil prices and lower sales are the cause of the current problem?
“Woof, woof!”
“What? If you add up the dollars spent and committed so far by the U.S. and Canadian governments, money to GMAC, and GM’s share of the original $25B ‘loan’ promised by Congress last year to update old factories, the ‘loan’ will be closer to $90B which is approximately the same amount as the GDP of Iraq, Vietnam, or Morocco and more than the GDP of 119 counties in the world seems obscene to you?”
“Woof.”
“Go get my check book. Good boy.”
“Woof.”
“Jimmy fell down the well?
“WOOF! Woof woof.”
“GM lost $88B since 2005 and needs our help because with their bond rating is one-step away from default, no non-lobotomized person, credit crisis or not, would lend them anymore money and they’ve already burnt through something like $22B in the first 5-months of 2009?”
“Woof.”
“What’s that about the media and market capitalization? Comparing GM to Honda and the S&P 500 since 1978 points to a long-term deterioration of GM’s value as compared to the ‘party line’ about the current credit crisis, higher oil prices and lower sales are the cause of the current problem?
“Woof, woof!”
“What? If you add up the dollars spent and committed so far by the U.S. and Canadian governments, money to GMAC, and GM’s share of the original $25B ‘loan’ promised by Congress last year to update old factories, the ‘loan’ will be closer to $90B which is approximately the same amount as the GDP of Iraq, Vietnam, or Morocco and more than the GDP of 119 counties in the world seems obscene to you?”
“Woof.”
“Go get my check book. Good boy.”
Monday, March 9, 2009
New Nationalized City Bank
A funny little spoof on how government mismanages things. Ha! Except. WTF. Who's bailing whom out now? Do the banks need a 5-year plan? Gosplan? Okay....fuck it - it is a funny video.
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